Maybe It's Emily

I mean really. What makes a person happy? What causes that chemical/hormone to kick in to create a sense of elation or peace? Why does it go off and why is it different with each and every person? I know for me, it doesn't take too much to make me feel that superficial elation that makes you want to sigh out of pure happiness. Gazebos, old WWI and WWII airplanes, summertime, sprinklers, sandals, parks and playgrounds, the smell of rain and grass, going outside with out a jacket and still feeling warm. We all have these little quirks that give us a sense of happiness, but what makes us truly happy and joyful, and as one might say, successful? I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I spend all of my day doing nothing. I was trying to find a job, but that has been a most unsuccessful search, and now I sit around because there's nothing for me to do: no job, no homework, no social activities, no money; then by the end of the day I realize I did nothing worth my whil

So this is where I write down my thoughts at this time of beginnings. Looking on the past two years of my life, they've sucked. Not filled with much to give me heaping amounts of joy. 2007 I was trying to run away from myself, I wanted to reinvent who I was. I didn't to be painfully shy anymore, I wanted to stick out and be social. The next semester at school left me with some roommates who weren't really the best of influences and friends who didn't exactly encourage me to go in the right directions. A therapist and a bishop told me I slipped into a depression for about three to four months. I hated the idea of depression. My mom has had it since I was seven years old and denotes bad connotations in my mind. I also dated my best friend, maybe for the wrong reasons, but it helped me to have someone constant there for me through all the days I cried because I was so stressed. I barely scraped by by the end of 2007, dipping my G.P.A. to about a 2.7. I wanted to leave many