Sunday, November 16, 2014

This Sunday has been the best!

Today has been great for a couple different reasons.
1) I felt like my hair looked good *score*
2) I made apple pie for ward lunch, and I was afraid that it turned out bad (the juices in the pie were less syruppy than I wanted), but instead was given many a compliment that it looked like a very handsome pie, that it was delicious, and then THE John Major, cooking extraordinaire, told me that it was good. Now, Bro.Major is a most excellent chef himself, and not one to sugar-coat things, so the fact that he complimented my pie in all sincerity just made me feel like winner of the day.

Not quite unlike this:


3) While at the MTC, before they headed out to their missions, Hna.Harris, Hna.Squires and I were able to receive blessings from our MTC teacher. It was a very spiritual experience for all four of us. It was truly a testimony of priesthood power, and a testimony that the Lord was very mindful of us. In that blessing I was told many wonderful things, including that through the extremely difficult things I was going through at the time, I would be able to serve as a beacon to the downcast and abused, even for those who I would not know were going through similar difficult challenges. I was told that I would be able to help people. The blessing given to me that day has meant so much to me, I am so glad I wrote it down afterwards, because I regard it as very sacred revelation given directly to me through a humble and faithful servant of the Lord.

That's why I decided to get my degree in social work, because helping others is all I want to do. That's it! That's the end! That's really all I want to do! But lately I haven't felt very helpful, and instead have felt very needing of help and support. Magnified with that is the frustrating fact that I cannot find a job in my chosen field. I want to help!!

Today I was blessed with the opportunity to give a talk. Normally I don't like giving talks because normally I feel uninspired and like I'm blathering. As I was preparing for the talk this past week, I felt inspired to talk about the less-obvious. I was asked to speak about going forward with faith, and instead of talking about the obvious moving-forward-after-randomly-choosing-South-Carolina-I-ain't-got-no-job-what-am-I-doing-here stuff, I felt inspired to share my life's constant challenge of "Going Forward With Faith," even when my flame of faith has been barely more than a spark. I felt like I needed to be honest about my experiences and talk about how dark things got, and how I had given up on keeping commandments and covenants after a while, and how doing that made me a miserable person, angry, bitter and depressed. But then, how I've come to realize that through actively keeping commandments and covenants, the Lord would place us where we need to be, and where we want to be.

I was just trying to be as honest as possible. And I was hoping that people wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable or less of me. That was my biggest concern. I didn't feel like I blathered and I felt like I did well, but I was hoping that it was okay with everyone else. I was grateful that the Lord blessed me with inspiration. It's been a long time since I felt inspired in such a way.

And to my delight and humble appreciation, I've had several people tell me that what I said hit home, was exactly what they needed to hear, and that it resonated with them. My friend Amy expressed to me how much that message was needed, because there were so many people in the ward that you wouldn't even know who were going through hard times, and needed to hear such an open honest shpeal. So many people told me that today, and it made me feel so good. I can still help people. I can strengthen people's testimonies, I can help them feel like they're not alone in feeling how they feel.

On top of that, tonight I was able to help out a friend, give a listening ear, and give counsel. Man I used to do that all the time and it was my favorite thing, but I haven't felt spiritually apt enough to do that in a loooooong time. It feels so good to get back to who I really am.

So Sunday- today- was AWESOME.

I hope your Sabbath was awesome too! I have to go to bed to wake up early to work for Amazon. Please pray for me that I might find another job hahaha

But really, please do it.

Goodnight y'all