Why do I like to torture myself?


I mean, honestly, I am a rational person. I like to think I'm down to earth, but when it comes to what's best for me, I can be somewhat misconstrued. This past week or two I've been pigging out like a monster. Usually I'm one who likes to eat smaller meals and mostly healthy foods like fruits, vegetables, and maybe even a chicken boob or two. But since mother nature came to visit me, she came with some mega-wrath. I had massive cravings, and instead of getting over them like I should have, I've pigged out on the three birthday cakes we've had around our apartment, ate an entire package of Oreos, chili, pizza, breads, and VERY sugary foods. The thing is I know they are bad for me. I love how I feel when I eat those fruits and vegetables; they give me energy and I just feel all around better about myself because I know I am taking care of my body. When I eat unhealthy foods they make me feel fat, disgusting, and they give me really bad headaches because of the grease and/or sugar. So why did I pig out on all the unhealthy stuff when I really needed something to make me feel better?
I don't know. I guess I'm an idiot.
Why do I subject myself to such torture? Today I had sloppy joes, chips (which I haven't had in a long time), and another slice of that infamous birthday cake. And now I feel disgustingly fat (I think I have gained a few pounds from all that cake) and have a huge throbbing headache.
And these are not psycho body issues, I like taking care of my body and being healthy.
And what I can do to remedy this? Listen to myself. Instead of listening to my instincts that tell me to eat what tastes good, I can listen to the rational side of me and do my body good; learn some self control. Which is what it really boils down to: self restraint and willpower. The will power to love myself and take care of myself. 
So no more birthday cake for me. 

Comments

  1. Cheeky SausageMarch 31, 2009 at 2:17 AM

    But you are BEAUTIFUL!! Don't beat yourself up for eating scrummy foods, hun. I want you to feel great about yourself because you ARE soooo great!! I miss you. And now I want some of this famous birthday cake x x

    ReplyDelete

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