I found out about a book that explains how I feel about this subject: I seriously hate dating. Something that has been a blessing to me is the counsel from Pres.Uchtdorf that he gave in a CES fireside in November of 2009: "I know this may be a disappointment for some of you, but I don’t believe there is only one right person for you. I think I fell in love with my wife, Harriet, from the first moment I saw her. Nevertheless, had she decided to marry someone else, I believe I would have met and fallen in love with someone else. I am eternally grateful that this didn’t happen, but I don’t believe she was my one chance at happiness in this life, nor was I hers." Dating and finding my eternal companion is all my choice! Nobody controls this part of my life except for me . "There are those who do not marry because they feel a lack of “magic” in the relationship. By “magic” I assume they mean sparks of attraction. Falling in love is a wonderful feel...
It was "May the 4th Be With You" day. I probably would have found some way to watch one of the Star Wars movies, or holler like a Wookie, but instead I spent the first half of the day in the hospital. I was 8 weeks pregnant and started spotting about five days earlier. I wish I had known sooner that you should see the doctor if you bleed more than three days in a row, all I knew was that spotting was normal. But the spotting slowly increased until on Saturday my mother in law suggested going to a clinic to get checked out. I called the Tricare nurse line because I was scared and didn't know where to go, and at their suggestion to the hospital I went. There was a lot of waiting and a lot of Chip and Joanna Gaines on our room's TV. After several hours of worrying and cramping, it was the ultrasound that confirmed my suspicions. No heart beat. They didn't have to tell me, I could just tell by the picture on the screen. The doctor warned me that a miscarriage ...
So I hope this will get to you this time. Ahhh, my second week at the MTC! Woot woot! It's been an interesting week. I don't remember when I've cried this much. Oh my goodness, my companion has been so compassionate towards me and my constant tearyness. I really wish the adversary would just leave us amazing missionaries alone! Sometimes it's hard to fall asleep at night, I'm still trying to figure that out. I've been having crazy dreams and waking up in the night, so I'm hoping that I'll soon fall out of that. Although I cry, I'm okay. I remember why I'm here and that if I do what's right, I can call upon my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for help and strength in time of need. We had one elder in our district go home so it's now uneven, four elders and five hermanas. It's sad, but it's a good thing that he recognizes that he needs to take care of some things. As he was leaving he looked at us and said "I'll be back...
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